Ridiculous Library Article Madlib

I’ve had it up to here with articles like this. Toby (aka @theanalogdivide) suggested that someone make a Madlib of this type of article. With more time I am sure this could be better, but I think it gets that the basic idea.

_______________ (Insert city and state)– In the age of _______________ (technology catchphrase/social media trend), libraries must adapt to stay relevant. ______________ (old timey girl’s name) ______________ (Irish writer’s last name) is part of a movement of young librarians who think libraries should offer more _______________ (insert leisure activity) for their patrons. “Libraries should be more like ______________ (insert technology company name).”

________________(same Irish writer) is no stranger to novelty herself. Wearing ________________ (type of shoe) and sporting __________________ (a color) hair, she is more like a member of _________________ (outré 90s band) than the type of librarian you might remember growing up. “Libraries aren’t just places for ________________ (type of print media) anymore. Libraries also have ___________________ (type of business, plural) and online ________________ (genre of art).”

Will libraries survive once everything is online? “Yes,” says _______________ (same Irish writer), “but only if they update their images. If I as a young, attractive person can help do that, it will make my ______________________ (large number) dollars of student loans all worth it.”